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Thursday, June 21, 2007

"Are you married? If so, how’s your marriage?"

A lot of people will get married this month. I think kids have a great understanding of marriage. For instance, ten-year-old Kirsten says, "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with." And how can you tell if two people are married? Derrick, 8, says, "You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."

Of course, dating leads to marriage, but what do most people do on a date? Eight-year-old Lynnette says, "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough."

And is it better to be single or married? Nine-year-old Anita says, "It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them." If you are married, Ricky, 10, says the best way to stay married is to, "Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck."

Go to my new website, www.StayMarriedForever.org, to discover more about how marriage works best.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

"Going on vacation?"


Today officially marks the start of summer. Most of us think "vacation" when we think about summer. So, are you going on vacation? Have you made your plans?

How do you get away from work when you go on vacation? Do you take your mobile phone or Blackberry with you, just in case the office "needs" you? Will you check voicemail or email while you’re gone?

Those are the more obvious disrupters of vacating your typical work pattern so you can re-create, remember how to make a life and not just a living; recall that you’re a human being, not a human doing. But what about when you’re walking along the beach and you start running numbers or doing a deal in your mind? Or, when your thoughts turn to some challenge waiting your resolution when you return? These are more covert disrupters of your vacation.

You see, when God re-creates your spirit as a human being during a vacation, you give God the space—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—to transform you. And that’s listening to life and making a life!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

"What kind of D.A.D. are you?"


A friend of mine coaches his grandson’s baseball team of 8 year olds. These kids face for the first time a pitcher who’s one of them so it’s basically an instructional league. The children are learning to play baseball.

Recently one of his players faced a count of 3 balls and no strikes. Parents in the stands—who always know more than the coaches and umpires—screamed at the boy, "Take the next pitch." The coach called time out, walked over to the batter, and said, "Son, what had you rather do—walk or hit the ball?" And the boy replied, "Hit the ball, Coach." "Then if it’s thrown where you can hit it, swing," the coach said loud enough for the parents to hear. "You’re here to learn to hit, not walk." The pitch was over the plate. The kid hit a double.

My friend demonstrated by example and helped the boy determine his priorities in playing and how to act on his intentions, and showed the parents how you help your child be a winner.

Effective dads demonstrate by example the priorities they’ve determined by acting on their intentions as they listen to life and make a life, not just a living.

Monday, June 18, 2007

"What kind of D.A.D. are you?"


Effective Dads act on their intentions. The Fatherhood Initiative does a study each year that usually reveals a father spends about 3 minutes a day with his child.

It’s one thing for a Dad to say, "I intend to come home and spend time with my family" or "…play with my daughter" or "…hang out with my son." It’s another thing when you act on them.

I am blessed to be the dad of two daughters. One thing I figured out pretty quickly was that they watch everything I do in my relationship with their Mom. They observe how I interact with her—how I’m loving and when I’m angry. So one intention I act on regularly that is a great gift to our daughters is to let them know how much I love their mom, not just because she did something great for me, but just because she is my wife and their mom. And that I intend to keep acting that way so that we will Stay Married Forever. (Go to www.StayMarriedForever.org.)

The A in D.A.D. is to act on your intentions as you make a life, not just a living.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

"What kind of D.A.D. are you?"


If just having a child is important to you, just perpetuating your lineage is a priority, then you’re just a father. If you want more than that with your child, if you want a relationship with your child, then you determine priorities consistent with that.

Your child discovers what’s important to you, what your priorities are, without you ever telling him or her.
For instance, I coach a young executive who works with a well-known firm. He was having some difficulty moving forward to realize one of his goals, specifically involving relationships. So we worked together to unravel this knot. We discovered the source of his roadblock one day when he said, "I started at shortstop for my high school baseball team all four years, and my father never showed up for a single game."

This young man got the message that he wasn’t a priority in his father’s life. The message was: You’d better be careful not to trust relationships too deeply.

The D in D.A.D. is for determine your priorities and make sure that your family is at or near the top as you listen to life and make a life today.