"What kind of D.A.D. are you? (Demonstrate by Example)"

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A friend of mine coaches his grandson’s baseball team of 8 year olds. These kids face for the first time a pitcher who’s one of them so it’s basically an instructional league. The children are learning to play baseball.

Recently one of his players faced a count of 3 balls and no strikes. Parents in the stands—who always know more than the coaches and umpires—screamed at the boy, "Take the next pitch." The coach called time out, walked over to the batter, and said, "Son, what had you rather do—walk or hit the ball?" And the boy replied, "Hit the ball, Coach." "Then if it’s thrown where you can hit it, swing," the coach said loud enough for the parents to hear. "You’re here to learn to hit, not walk." The pitch was over the plate. The kid hit a double.

My friend demonstrated by example and helped the boy determine his priorities in playing and how to act on his intentions, and showed the parents how you help your child be a winner.

Effective dads demonstrate by example the priorities they’ve determined by acting on their intentions as they listen to life and make a life, not just a living.

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"What kind of D.A.D. are you? (Act on Your Intentions)"

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Effective Dads act on their intentions. The Fatherhood Initiative does a study each year that usually reveals a father spends about 3 minutes a day with his child.

It’s one thing for a Dad to say, "I intend to come home and spend time with my family" or "…play with my daughter" or "…hang out with my son." It’s another thing when you act on them.

I am blessed to be the dad of two daughters. One thing I figured out pretty quickly was that they watch everything I do in my relationship with their Mom. They observe how I interact with her—how I’m loving and when I’m angry. So one intention I act on regularly that is a great gift to our daughters is to let them know how much I love their mom, not just because she did something great for me, but just because she is my wife and their mom. And that I intend to keep acting that way so that we will Stay Married Forever. (Go to www.StayMarriedForever.org.)

The A in D.A.D. is to act on your intentions as you make a life, not just a living.

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"What kind of D.A.D. are you? (Determine Your Priorities)"

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If just having a child is important to you, just perpetuating your lineage is a priority, then you’re just a father. If you want more than that with your child, if you want a relationship with your child, then you determine priorities consistent with that.

Your child discovers what’s important to you, what your priorities are, without you ever telling him or her.
For instance, I coach a young executive who works with a well-known firm. He was having some difficulty moving forward to realize one of his goals, specifically involving relationships. So we worked together to unravel this knot. We discovered the source of his roadblock one day when he said, "I started at shortstop for my high school baseball team all four years, and my father never showed up for a single game."

This young man got the message that he wasn’t a priority in his father’s life. The message was: You’d better be careful not to trust relationships too deeply.

The D in D.A.D. is for determine your priorities and make sure that your family is at or near the top as you listen to life and make a life today.

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