"Do you flinch?"

When I was a teenager, my dad, little brother, and I went hunting one day. It was a crisp fall morning and we were having a great time together bird hunting. In fact, one of us downed a bird and I went after it. It fell over in one of my grandfather’s cow pastures.

There was a tiny stream running through the pasture. I thought maybe the bird had fallen in it so I stepped over to take a look. All of a sudden, I heard what sounded like thunder and looked up to discover a small herd of about 25 cattle running straight for me, charging. By this time, they were too close for me to outrun. I thought about shooting the lead cow, but I knew Granddaddy wouldn’t like that so I decided to wait until the last possible moment before shooting. So I just stood there, not flinching, staring down that lead cow; my gun leveled just in case. Right before she got to the stream, she stopped and the herd stopped too.

The next time a life problem charges you, don’t run, don’t shoot; don’t flinch. Have the courage to stand, stare it down, and know God is in control.

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"What do you do when you’re stuck in traffic?"

I really think there’s a direct correlation between how far I am behind in getting there and the frequency and length of traffic delays.

It happened recently. I’m on my way to an appointment, cruising along the expressway—going the speed limit, no more, of course—when traffic slows down to a stop. Eventually we’re all detoured off the expressway, back through the city, strangling any hope I had of being on time.

So I’m driving along the detoured route, not exactly happy about all of this, when it occurred to me that there wasn’t a thing I could do to change my situation. So I may as well enjoy the ride. I picked up my phone, called my appointment, and explained what was going on. “No problem,” he said. Turns out he could use a few extra minutes too. I enjoyed the ride which was longer than I intended, but I used the time to relax and see a few sights I would have otherwise missed.

To listen to your life, take advantage of every situation—no matter how stressful—and make a life with God’s help.

"Got a pout house?"

I guess we all should have one, but I suspect few of us do. There are times when we all need one, but how many of us have one?

I’m talking about a pout house. A friend of mine told me about her Grandpa’s pout house. It was actually a storage building where he would retreat when life wasn’t going his way, e.g., he’d had a disagreement with his wife, or was just feeling down for some reason. He’d go out to his pout house where he’d sit and pout and have a little pity party. Then he’d get over it, come out, and be fine.

Do you have a pout house? A place where you go and get over it? Maybe you have a pout house on wheels. When something doesn’t go your way, you make a pout house except instead of being by yourself, you act pitiful in front of the people around you as an attempt to get sympathy.

God gave you life to enjoy, not make others miserable with you. So find a pout house where you can go and be alone until God’s spirit helps you get over it; a place where you can listen to life and make a life, not just a living.

"Do you stereotype others?"

You don’t exactly think of a rock and roll star as a caring father who married his high school sweetheart and philanthropist who gives away millions to charities? And yet that description fits Jon Bon Jovi perfectly. He drives his children, aged 1-12 years old, to their various schools or games or rehearsals. He married Dorothea sixteen years ago, the woman he first loved in high school. He gives to local causes, the Police Athletic League, AIDS prevention awareness, and a youth helpline.

He doesn’t exactly fit the image you and I may have a rocker. It’s so easy for us to stereotype others, to fit them neatly into prearranged mental boxes we carry around in our heads. And yet, the truth is that we are all very unique. Despite there being 6 billion of us wandering Planet Earth, no two of us are alike.

And that’s by creative design. It’s the way God expresses love to us. So don’t categorize, personalize others like God does as you make a life.

"Do you have refrigerator rights?"

Through the years, our home has been a gathering place. My wife and I decided when our daughters were born that we wanted our home to be “the place” where all of their friends wanted to come and play and hang out. We have lots of friends, too, so rather than just go out to eat all the time with them, we like to have them over to relax and kind of “get away” at our farm.
Repeat guests discover something on about the second or third time they’re over: my wife has a refrigerator policy that goes something like this—“The first time you’re here, you’re our guests and we wait on you. From the second time on, you know where the refrigerator is.” In other words, you have what Dr. Will Miller and Glenn Sparks refer to in their book as “Refrigerator Rights,” a relationship that’s comfortable, informal, and intimate.

Who has refrigerator rights at your home? Invite some friends over for dinner this weekend and give them refrigerator rights so you can be comfortable, informal, and intimate as you listen to life and make a life together!

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