"Which had you rather have—the carrot or the stick?"

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You’ve probably heard the story about the farmer who kept his horse plowing down the field by dangling a carrot just in front of his nose. The carrot was just out of reach of the horse’s grasp, suspended by a stick tied to his collar.

Lots of people, because of that story, talk about using the carrot to lead others. But it seems to me that there are just as many people who use the stick. That is, they criticize unduly others. I see it particularly in my business coaching and marriage coaching. A supervisor verbally beats his employees with a stick. Or, a spouse goes off on the other spouse and usually over something very trivial.

Do you give others the stick? Listen to your conversation and quickly pick out the words that tear down others.

What had you rather receive—the stick or the carrot? Listen again, only this time to conversations others have with you and mentally note their praises and encouragement of others.

Which do you want from God?

Listen to life today and as you make a life, not just a living give others carrots and keep your sticks to yourself.

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